i'm not in love

my mom and i were driving back form the Candlelight Processional at Epcot on Monday listening to XM radio. this song came on and we couldn't remember who it was by. it bugged me so much that i swore i would look it up when i got home. the problem was by the time i got home, i couldn't remember anything about the song. today, i remembered! YAHOO! so the song is "I'm Not in Love" by 10cc. here are the lyrics:

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong,
don't think you've got it made

I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

I like to see you, but then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you, don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us

I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

I keep your picture upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
So don't you ask me to give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me

I'm not in love, no no, it's because..
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh you'll wait a long time
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh you'll wait a long time

I'm not in love, so don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made

I'm not in love; I'm not in love

why do i cite these lyrics here and now? i cite them because, so many times, i have been there trying to interpret the mixed signals sent by unwitting members of the opposite sex. and i cite them because, so many times, i fear, i have been the sender of those same mixed signals -- sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. and now, at 33, i am pretty much sick and tired of games and of trying to develop and interpret signals that convey the right "message." i do not think i am alone in this. honestly. it reminds me of the bestselling book "He's Just Not That Into You." i have only read bits and pieces of it, but this guy pretty much strips down all those questions we girls ask ourselves. my questions become three-fold: do men ask these same questions, are they paying attention and do they even care?

i cite these lyrics here and now as a caveat that whatever the "just because" is, it is likely not what we hope for. that is not to be cynical. it is simply to say, that reading into the facts that he calls, hangs out, or hangs my picture on his wall, does not make our perceptions into realities. and by looking so closely at the signals, what other beauty do we risk missing out on?

and when the fireworks occur and your hands fit perfectly together; when you complete each other and had each other at hello; when you would miss him (or her) even if you had never met him (or her) and when you would rather fight with him (or her) than make love to anyone else; when you wonder if he (or she) thinks of you half as much as you think of him (or her) and when no cliche movie quote can describe the feelings you have for the other, no amount of deciphering will be necessary; you will just know.

Father, I praise you for the beauty of your creation. I praise you for your infinite knowledge and plan. I thank you that you know me and know what is best for me, and I thank you that there are struggles in the meantime. I thank you for the journey -- with all of its hills and valleys. I thank you for your timing and purpose and that you have a plan that is specifically mine. I pray, Father, that my focus would be on you. I pray that my goal would be your glory. I pray that i would not be distracted, Father. And I would ask, Father I remain humble, teachable and patient. And I know that I can be none of those things outside of you. Keep me honest and authentic and accountable. In the name of Christ my Lord, Amen.